Away with the Fairies
by Geraldine Aldridge
“Candy,” called the woman. “Candy, come to mummy!”
I stopped beside her, looking down the slope to where a white
Labrador frolicked in the pond far below.
“She’s having a wonderful time,” I said.
“She won’t come back,” said the woman, turning sightless eyes to me. “She’s my guide dog. I just got her. I thought she’d like a good run.”
“Surely,” I began, but, no, that conversation would take too long, and I had to think of my blood pressure, of the baby I carried inside me.
“I’ll get her for you,” I said. Well, I couldn’t leave her there, could I? Couldn’t leave a blind woman standing in the park?
I ran down the slope to the pond. I felt my baby let go! I felt the moment when she left me. I caught the dog, returned it to the woman, went home, and packed my case for the hospital.
***
She ran away from me, my Dotty, let go of my hand. She always did. This day, in the park, she ran, little dot, in her red gingham dress, hand-smocked by me, white sandals, chubby legs, plump pink starfish hands waving to keep her balance. Up the slope she ran, to the seat at the top, and fell at the feet of an elderly woman, huddled on the bench, bundled washer-woman-like against the cold.
“Uppadaisy,” she said, as she pulled herself up on the woman’s grimy skirts. I puffed up the slope, as the woman reached out a hand, black with the dirt of days, of ditches, of destitution.
“That’s my daughter,” I gasped, my eyes forbidding the woman to touch her.
Dotty reached out a soft rose-petal pink hand, and put it gently on the woman’s calloused grimy palm. As I arrived at the bench, I looked down at the woman, there on the park bench that was obviously her home, her living room, her bed chamber, for today at least. Our eyes met. In the woman’s eyes, where I expected to see dull-witted emptiness, I saw a fire, so pure an emotion, it made me shiver.
“Dirty,” said Dotty, touching with one tiny finger the woman’s blackened hand.
“I am the fairy queen,” said the woman. “I am invisible. If I didn’t cover myself with mud, nobody would be able to see me.”
“Big,” said Dotty, stretching her chubby arms wide as she tried to give the bundled-up woman a hug.
“I am big with years,” said the woman. “Every year, I get fainter and lighter. For every year, I put on another coat. Otherwise I’d disappear completely.”
“Lottsa coats,” said Dotty, and we both looked down at the top of that curly head, as she delicately folded back the edge of each coat, like the pages of an old book, of the many the woman wore.
“I’m the fairy queen,” said the woman again, her voice so soft, it jarred with her whole being. “I am as light as thistledown. If I didn’t wear a hundred coats, the breeze would blow me away.”
Dotty looked up into her eyes, and grinned. Who could resist that toothy grin?
“Dotty be fairy too,” said my little daughter, and I felt the longing in her words, saw the longing in the old woman’s eyes.
***
I remember the look in the woman’s eyes. She was mad, some would say, ‘Away with the fairies’, in a completely different world. And yet, she was in fairyland. I am here, in this world where fairies don’t exist, remembering, the day that my Dotty went there too. I still shiver, when I think of that day when my little girl let go of my hand.
***